. . . if you stop long enough to really think about your past. In our Life Group, I was asked to share a brief account of my life that included accomplishments, people who have greatly affected (or is is effected, don’t know) my life, dissappointments, and things that have made me who I am. One of the times of my life that so greatly stands out is the summer and fall after graduating in 2005.

I wanted so desperately to become a teacher, and by the end of the summer it did not look like that was in the cards for me. This is the only time so far in my life that I have truly butted heads with and doubted God. I would think over and over, “Lord, you said that if I trust in you that you would give me the desires of my heart. Well, I want to teach, and you are keeping it from me.” I spent many hours crying, praying, and just being miserable. The perfect ending to that story would be that the day before school started a principal called and offered me a kindergarten position immediately after meeting me and seeing how awesome I am. Instead, I found myself working at my church in the children’s ministry.

It wasn’t until I started to reflect on my life for my group that I realized how differently my life would have been had I gotten a teaching position that year. The two major blessings that came out of working for the church was building the relationships with Monte, Jonathan, and Jennifer that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Monte is truly my spiritual father. He inspired and supported me in ways that no one else had. I learned so much from him, and he always makes me feel safe and reassured. Jonathan and Jennifer have been more than I ever could have expected from friends. Our relationship is so easy, yet so profoundly deep. Our souls speak the same language, and they lift me up greatly. If I could change the past, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to miss out on the blessings these people are in my life.

So, God did give me the desires of my heart. I just didn’t know how deeply my heart wanted and needed a father to lead me spiritually and true friends that I could be completely transparent with (and love me anyways).  As I sit here getting ready for my interview tomorrow, I have great peace within my soul. I would love to teach kindergarten with my best friend Jennifer. I know that God has gifted me to teach children, but I am at peace with whatever the outcome may be. I have experienced the abundant blessings that God has planned for our lives within His will.  You just have to look beyond the initial disappointment to see them.  If teaching is not in the plan for me right now, then I can’t wait to see what is!